Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Woody Allen you don’t find here.

More on Woody Allen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_allen.

I am at two with nature.
– Woody Allen

I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
– Woody Allen

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
– Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
– Woody Allen

It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
– Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
– Woody Allen

If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
– Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
– Woody Allen

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
– Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
– Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
– Woody Allen

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