W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by W. C. Fields you don’t find here.

More on W. C. Fields: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.C._Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
– W.C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
– W.C. Fields

I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
– W.C. Fields

Somebody put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
– W.C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
– W.C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
– W.C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.
– W.C. Fields

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
– W.C. Fields

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
– W.C. Fields

I’ve never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
– W.C. Fields

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