Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx Quotations

I’ve been collecting quotations for years and figured I’d put my collections online for others to use as they wish. Enjoy these quotations, use the comment form to share any quotations by Groucho Marx you don’t find here.

More on Groucho Marx: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groucho_marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
– Groucho Marx

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun!
– Groucho Marx

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
– Groucho Marx

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
– Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
– Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
– Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
– Groucho Marx

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
– Groucho Marx

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
– Groucho Marx

A man is as old as the woman he feels.
– Groucho Marx

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